The Finance and the Bank

After speculating for years
The Finance was disappointed
When the recession occurred :
No more wealthy company
To ruin until bankruptcy

So the Finance asked for money
To the Bank, like everyday
Demanding some big amounts
To hide on special accounts
So speculation could dash
While preparing the next crash

"I'll refund you, said the Finance,
In good faith, for instance :
Before the next recession
Capital plus commission"

But The Bank has no more to lend,
For the Finance : this is the end
The Bank asked the Finance
"What the hell were you doing ? "
"For many years speculating,
And also money laundering"
"Speculating ? I have bad news :
It's time for you to sing the blues"

European headhunter

A few days ago, I had a message on my cell phone.

Nothing special about that, until I listened to it : all in English (1), very good accent, the person seemed to be a native English speaker.

But there was a problem : even if I scored high on the TOEIC test, it was almost impossible for me to understand what he meant : it sounded like he was calling from a noisy train in a collapsing tunnel while eating marshmallows.

But I finally got his phone number and the reason for his call : it was about a job in Belgium, for a client whose nationality will forever remain incomprehensible.

I have quite a good CV, but not enough to think that a headhunter from England would call me in France for a job in Belgium.

And I don't intend spending the little money I still have just to call an Englishman who does not know he could have sent me a email, for free, and being sure I would get it.

(1) Keep in mind that I'm in France, and not used to such calls

I.T. job hunting throes

It has now become a common (but bad) practice, job ads in IT look more and more like this:

“I am a recruiting officer for an interplanetary software firm, world leader in wobbly solutions for inefficient and greying managers.

I'm looking for ABAP/C++/Cobol/PHP/C# programmers under 25yo, having more than 15 years of work experience, ideally in aeronautics embedded systems on tanker in low orbit and/or space probes in rain forests.

Ideal candidates will have to be graduated from an engineering school (ideally from the best french engineering school) with postgraduate degree (MBA or doctorate) in international high finance and repopulation of exoplanets.

Fluent English, Spanish, Russian, German, Portuguese and Italian are mandatory, working knowledge of Aramean, tagalog, and Chinese is a plus.

Salaries start at 10 euros per month as the job will take place in a developing country.

For more information about these positions, throw your ego out, and contact me by email slavery@bad.job”

Thus, with my non-specialized work experience, my great age (soon 40 yo!) and a diploma of a nonprestigious school, I only have to sign on at the unemployment office. That's what I do.