I.T. job hunting throes

It has now become a common (but bad) practice, job ads in IT look more and more like this:

“I am a recruiting officer for an interplanetary software firm, world leader in wobbly solutions for inefficient and greying managers.

I'm looking for ABAP/C++/Cobol/PHP/C# programmers under 25yo, having more than 15 years of work experience, ideally in aeronautics embedded systems on tanker in low orbit and/or space probes in rain forests.

Ideal candidates will have to be graduated from an engineering school (ideally from the best french engineering school) with postgraduate degree (MBA or doctorate) in international high finance and repopulation of exoplanets.

Fluent English, Spanish, Russian, German, Portuguese and Italian are mandatory, working knowledge of Aramean, tagalog, and Chinese is a plus.

Salaries start at 10 euros per month as the job will take place in a developing country.

For more information about these positions, throw your ego out, and contact me by email slavery@bad.job”

Thus, with my non-specialized work experience, my great age (soon 40 yo!) and a diploma of a nonprestigious school, I only have to sign on at the unemployment office. That's what I do.